Round by Round Results

DDiv1

Black Jack & The Showgirls

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

D1res

Jumbo & his Princes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

DDiv 7

Sexy P!mp & His C-Men

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

DC1

The Chardonnay Socialists

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

D7res

The Brady Bunch

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

DC5

The Bastards

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

DC6

The Scum

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

DDiv1

The Girl Guides

Finals

1 2 3 4 5 6

Div: C3 Team: The B*stards

  • Opposition:
  • Ground:
  • Date: 16-06-16
  • Round: 11
  • 7.12.54 AUFC
  • 4.8.32 Other
  • Coach's Report
close 'Sorry mate, got an exam'
'Sorry mate, my fingers still not quite right'
'Sorry mate, I've got an Underwater Basket Weaving conference this weekend'

The deadly 'Uni exam/holiday period' that every footy coach loathes sprung it's ugly head up last weekend for the dregs of the AUFC. Oddly enough, the B@stards were particularly decimated, although it had nothing to do with the fact that it had been raining all week, and we were playing a team who beat us up by 14 goals in round 2.

Making matters worse their coach fled the country mid-week, leaving an untried Colin Girth at the helm of a ship destined for despair. A frantic series of phone calls on Friday night ensured Colin had just enough players to take on the Tarnished Spooners the following day.

The doomed B@stards arrived at Bob Neil #1, some of them cramping after doubling up in the Chards that morning. While the day seemed a foregone conclusion, the most embarrassing aspect was that the B's and A's were merely a curtain raiser for what destined to be a bloodbath . The Powers that Be will be unlikely to make such a grave fixturing error in the future.

The B@stards trudged into the rooms just as the B grade press conference was finishing up and autographs were being signed- making for a very crowded space. From there, an extraordinary turn of events occurred....

CCTV shows just 18 Bastards entering into the rooms around 2.15 pm. 30 minutes later 25 B@stards emerged (some already covered in mud, weird) and proceded to absolutely pants one of the form sides of the competition.

Division C3 pundits were initially baffled at the result, but a clear factor had changed since round 2. From a 78 point loss to a brilliant 22 point win, the only obvious difference was the coaching staff. Like every Polish person working in Britain, Holsty is now out of a job.

Scores: AUFC: 7.12 . 54
Spooners: 4.8 . 32

Best Players: Alex Bate, Alex Buckby, ****** ******, ***** ******, ****** *****Paddy Lawson.
Goal Kickers: ***** ***** 2, **** ****** 2 Mugford, Bate, Hesketh 1

Coach

2 0

Patrick Lawson-Statham

Ruck

5 0

Alexander Bate

Ruck Rover

6 0

Alex Buckby

Rover

0 0

Declan Harvey

Left Forward Pocket

0 0

James Cameron

Full Forward

0 0

Hugh Woods

Right Forward Pocket

0 0

Fraser Thomson

Left Forward Flank

0 0

Finnigan Marshall

Centre Half Forward

0 0

Tom Chalk

Right Forward Flank

0 0

Willem Petrovsky

Left Centre Wing

0 0

Daniel Currie

Centre

0 0

Brad Hill

Right Centre Wing

0 0

Joshua Stewart

Left Back Flank

0 0

Mitchell MacIntyre

Centre Half Back

0 1

Hugh Mugford

Right Back Flank

0 0

Sebastian Gray

Left Back Pocket

3 0

Harry Collett

Full Back

0 0

Michael Reid

Right Back Pocket

0 1

Angus Hesketh

Bench 1

0 2

Anthony Butler

Bench 2

1 0

Hamish Crouch

Bench 3

0 0

Nicholas Shopov

Bench 4

4 2

Max Parker

Bench 5